It’s the Way You Live, Not the Way you Talk.

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Recently at work, we had this exercise called cross training, where our team members stepped into each other’s role to truly appreciate what the other accomplishes on a daily bases.

During a visit at my location, one of my coworkers and I happened to start talking about life, the future, and where we wanted to be within the next few years.  The next morning when she came into the office she proclaimed “I told my husband about this beautiful Christian young lady that works with me, I told him all about you”

Naturally I was a little taken back. Not once within our conversation about life or the future did I mention my religious beliefs. I never mentioned faith within my goals or the reason for my goals.  I told her I was not upset with her comment but simply wondered why she assumed my faith.

She simply stated. “well am I wrong? You will learn in this life time, it is not the way you say but the way you live your life”.

She made perfect sense. There is a striking difference between people who always talk about God and his word and people who carry his word through their actions and live a life that is centered around performing good works with humility that comes from wisdom.  Occasionally when I come across people who preach God’s word within every aspect of life, I feel that I do not always properly represent my faith in God.

Within my life, I have moved a way from established religion because I stumbled across so many people who would preach one message but actions did not align to the word they  taught to the masses. As a teenager this was the first independent thought that really started to separate me from my parents and family. It was the first decision I made as a young adult. To align my actions when possible to my faith and beliefs. Not just live the truth on Sundays and to formulate my own beliefs and not take everything at face value.

As I grew older and slightly wiser, most of my actions and who I am are directly tied to my faith.  As pointed out within the book of James in chapter three, your actions should match your word. If you are wise and understand your faith than do not prove it through your words and praising God in front of others, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. If deep down there is a selfish ambition within your hurt, your actions will directly reflect this even when you tell others about the word or your faith.

Some people have told me that by not speaking on my faith, I am essentially hiding my beliefs. By leaving God out of my blog, I am not truly living up to my true purpose outlined by God.

To this I would like to combat that words and speaking God’s name is only half the battle. You can announce to the world your love for God and the good works you perform on his behalf, you can hide behind a religious mask and cast judgement based on your definition of the word of God, but I have also learned that teachers of the gospel are held to a higher standard. Your actions must always match your words. To me personally it means more that my actions are able to communicate all the words that I do not necessarily speak.  It means more to me that I perform what is true in my heart, that I do not speak ill of others, that I perform works that align with my beliefs and not to fit in with the crowd or my peers.

Preaching God’s word can be powerful but living a life and performing God’s will and purpose is even more powerful and affects a larger demographic. Not everyone is willing to hear the word of God but can connect with someone performing the work of God more easily.

My take away from this conversation with my coworker My actions and constant state of changing my environment and self is a direct reflection of my beliefs without me once uttering the name of my lord and savior.

So my challenge to each and every person is to live a life that aligns with your own purpose and goals.  Allow your actions to speak louder than the words you will ever speak.

Perform good deeds without recognition. Do not point out all the good or bad you do. Remain silent. What you do is important, in most cases more important than what you say. You cannot preach one thing in public and think your private whispers will never surface.

Until next time!

-Bella

 

 

Bad At Love

When looking at my blog from a far it is really tough to understand the overall theme or natural flow that exists. For many people who read and follow along, it seems a little disconnected. Like random thoughts or ideas placed into one place.

Well unfortunately  it is random thoughts and ideas that some how end up typed out and published, but more importantly there is a defined themed throughout. Each piece explores human nature and the norms in society. From stereotyping, to being introverted, suicide, being happy, struggles, and my newest series being human; each post explores aspects of society and human nature.

I typically write from a place of knowledge, wisdom, research, or my soul. One topic that is not often discussed or highly talked about it romantic relationships and love.

It is not that I do not feel like it is not a topic for discussion in regards to norms in society and human nature because it is usually a topic that plagues our society and is in fact a large aspect of being human.

Of course I will explore this topic from a specific angle within the series of Being Human at a later date (If you have not read the first two than 1. go read them because the series is bound to get interesting and the more thoughts and opinions will shape the future of the series and 2. you will not understand the difference of this post to the one in the future in the series of being human), but I often do not speak on the topic because I am one of many who cannot figure out this love thing. (or so society thinks)

It is not that I am an emotionless corporate climber without work life balance, or the opposite a hopeless romantic that jumps in and out of relationships in hopes of finding the love of my life.

I am simply bad at love.

Writing that is both a relief and also really tough for me. I am person that prides myself in becoming successful in anything and everything that I truly put effort into. I believe the more effort and time you spend, you will soon reap the rewards of your effort. Regardless of the time I put into love and finding love or the time I allow escape and let nature takes its course the more I come back empty handed.

We as Americans are engrained in the belief that if you hit 30 and you are still single and on the market that you ultimately are one of two thing. First is that you placed importance on your career over finding love or you are not lovable. We live in a society where relationship goals is a hashtag and oversharing everything in life including your love for another is normal.

As I slowly creep towards the age where I am unable to donate my eggs due to my age, and having more than one pet makes you a _______ mom or lady. I have had to stop and really think about love.

Have I found romantic love. No not within a life long person, but I have found love. Love in my career. Love in who I am. Love in my confidence. Love in laughing. Love within my family. Love in my purpose. Love in my faith. Love in my sweet pups that deal with my craziness. Love in the daily joys.

I am not bad at love, I am bad at the image of romantic love in society. I have so much love to give and have not found the person to share it with. I do not know if I believe in soul mates or a defined love of my life. But I know when it is my time to explore romantic love, it will not be the idealized image that society has engrained in me to have and strive for. It will be this true and honest love that I have been learning exists in my daily routine.

Being Human Part 2: Faith

At the start of the year, I promised that I would write once a week….

That was two months ago. In the mean time, I failed to update my blog and this series fell by the way side. I am infamous for starting long haul projects and pausing for another project and somehow forgetting that another project meant so much.

As I struggle to find my place and continue on a million and two other projects, I needed to stop and come back to the project that constantly plagues me. What it is like being human?

As I am continuing within my career and constantly am surrounded by a multitude of life stories from the people I work with, the people I work for, and the people that I am in charge of helping, I cannot help but constantly come back to this project.

As I started the series I wanted to explore different facets of human nature and norms in society that in fact become the large picture of ‘being human’.  One of the largest factors that both fascinates me and is also a subject that is near and dear to my heart is faith.

As humans within the world we all face different paths, decisions, hardships, upbringings, internal struggles, and the list is endless. Although we are all drastically different there is a constant theme that filters through society and that is Faith.

Eighty-four percent of the world population has a faith in some sort of religion.  That equates to over 8 out of 10 people having some sort of belief system defined by a specific religious affiliation.  In reality the eighty-four percent refers to people who identify as having a belief in a religion and does not account for the amount of influence that their religion has upon their life and values but it still gives an idea of Faith and the idea of faith within the world.

A part of being human and the way we live our lives is contingent upon a number of factors but regardless faith is a large factor for the majority of the world.

Faith can be defined in a multitude of ways but one that I personally would like to draw from, not only for this post but one that I utilize anytime I speak of faith is the following:

Faith- strong or unshakable belief in something, esp without proof.

As I explore the people around me, I tend to also explore the aspects of faith in individuals.  I tend to come across two main groups of individuals, people who are deep and steadfast in their religion and people who think religion is the most ludicrous idea. One thing struck me, they all have a faith. Both have this Faith that things in this world have a natural order and that life has it’s own wait of turning things around.

It is a funny thing, Humans are built on this little feeling of Faith and what is yet to come. Regardless if it is a new day or new beginning. Faith is the corner stone of us Humans in one way or another.

Faith in the future. Faith in a new day. Faith in a divine being. Faith in heaven and hell. Faith in a place better than where you are at. Faith in tomorrow. Faith in who you are. Faith in your religion. Faith in your convictions. Faith in the good in the world. Faith in karma. Faith in what is to come. Faith in others. Faith in the unknown. Faith in science. Faith in technology. Faith in finding a cure. Faith in oneself.

Faith is constantly around us, and we each carry a little bit with us each day.

Faith is a subject that not only makes us human but divides us. It is the catalyst that perpetuate wars. A large subject constantly used as a way to separate each of us from one another instead of realizing it is a common ground for all of us.

What is being Human?

Being Human is having Faith. Having a strong and unshakeable belief is something.

But that ‘something’ is often times what separates us.

Please comment and share you thoughts below, I would love to know your opinions. Also there are a ton more subjects a head on being human, if you want to talk or discuss something specifically feel free to email, DM on Instagram, or leave a comment. I will be sure to answer or address it within a post.  Also to get an understanding of the series please see Being Human: Introduction.

Until next time.

-Bella

 

 

 

Chasing Butterflies 2.0

Within the past year, I have adopted and coined the phrase ““Chase the butterflies, because that is when you feel truly alive”.   Anyone who actively follows my writing has read multiple pieces about chasing the feeling regardless if it comes to love, changes in life, or something as mundane as sharing your soul through your work.  This has been a constant motto when I decide to actively pursue a new adventure in life.

Every human naturally has the instincts to alert them of danger and unknown territory.  We are naturally programmed to distance ourselves from things that are not natural to our-self. When things are not familiar we begin to feel afraid, our hearts starts to race, we become nervous, we avoid the unfamiliar, and ultimately we stay within our comfort zone.  We are simply creatures of habit.  Our brain is also programmed to tell us “you cannot get this done”, “this is crazy”, and any other phrase that stops us from pursuing something head on.

Due to my natural inclination to remain within comfort, I have made it my personal goal to chase the butterflies, to push past all my fears.  To become truly alive.  Fear is such a huge limitation even when we do not even recognize fear. Personally my anxiety and the expectations that I see within society limits the things that I pursue.  The truth is I limit myself in so many ways in life, as do so many other individuals.  We constantly tell ourselves that we are not good enough or allow society to tell us what is acceptable and what is not.  Chasing the butterflies has become a constant reminder that at the point when the fear of the unknown comes within my life that  I will constantly pursue that unknown.  That moment when you fear jumping the most is when you need to take the leap because growth is not developed within comfort zones.

As I coined “chasing the butterflies”, I have never stopped to think of the symbolism and importance of butterflies within the world view.  Butterflies have a vast amount of meanings depending on the person and the culture.  Within the christian religion butterflies signify resurrection, other people around the world see it as symbols representing endurance, change, hope, and life. There are so many heartfelt stories and meaning to each person that you come across.

Today as I hastily began to get ready for my last Sunday within my current position, I look up on my mirror and see a green butterfly. My first thought was that I was going to remind my niece to stop placing stickers on things throughout my house, and something told me to blow on the sticker, as i began to blow the wings of the butterfly fluttered and than moved to another position.  This was in fact a butterfly in my bathroom at 7 am in the morning was pretty peculiar and it was my favorite color.

I am not a person that believes in coincidence or mistakes.  That butterfly was my symbol.   It was a symbol for my life and the current life circumstances that I am at right now.  I am making a huge career move, and I have been questioning if my abilities will be suited well with the new responsibility. I have been struggling with my confidence to drive steadily into the future without looking back.  I have had butterflies and have felt the fear lingering within the dark corners of my being. Not only with my career but also within many aspects of my personal life.  The color green is a symbol of growth, ambition, harmony, renewal, and energy.  It is time for my new path. I am going to chase my green butterfly and start to feel more alive than ever before.

You will always catch me chasing the butterflies.

 

A Trait better than the Rest

There is a character trait that is overlooked but is the key to success. So often people before hiring an individual, dating someone new, or trying to feel someone out for the first time look at so many traits that are important but lack a growth aspect.  Most people look for skills or traits of kindness, intercommunication skills, sociability, and team work ethic. All of these skills are beyond important but there is one that is often overlooked and more valuable than any other skill.

This is being open minded.  Being open minded is the difference between someone who can get anything done, and someone that is willing to get everything done considering every factor.

A broad definition of open mindedness is receptiveness to new ideas. Openmindedness relates to the way in which people approach the views and knowledge of others, and “incorporate the beliefs that others should be free to express their views and that the value of others’ knowledge should be recognized.”

This is not saying that they do not hold their own opinions and have strong opinions on a subject. It means that they can function within a team with people who may not hold the same beliefs. That they are willing to hear a topic.  That although they may never change their mind on a topic, they will at least hear out someone’s opinion to gain new knowledge or appreciation of a new perspective.

People who are open minded are naturally more empathetic, knowledgeable, and well rounded than people who have a fixed belief while disregarding any other belief system.  Personally having an open mind always leads to bigger and better places.  It shows that you are flexible and can tolerate circumstances that may be out of line with what you know.  It makes you a life long student willing to share with others their knowledge and beliefs on a topic.

It is never too late to take off the rose colored lenses and see life through others shades of lenses.  You might just like what is out there.

Why I Write…

When coming across my blog, most people can see such a large variety within my topics. My topics range and does not seem like they are one cohesive unit.  All of my writing centers around real life. It examines the daily challenges of a person regardless who you are. It pinpoints the injustices and struggles within the society we live in.  I am here to remind everyone life is not what is on social media. It is not this defined happy place that we all want to paint for others to see.

Life is an adventure with a ton of twists and turns along the way.  I am about sharing the negatives not just the perfected edited glossy prints. This is a space that is open to all opinions that is backed by research and proof. A place to share you fears of not feeling like you are enough.  To realize that your future is shaped by what you do not the images that society wants you to be.

This is a reminder and a compilation of all the crazy thoughts that we all have but it may not always be expressed.

Please share your opinions and let me know your thoughts….

 

 

 

Running Towards the Light

Mark Twain once said  “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

I never realized that finding your purpose in life could change the way you view the world. I used to believe that having values, a moral center, and a general life direction lead to having a fulfilling life until the day that I found my purpose.  Finding that one thing that drives you is truly life changing. It confirms your values, explains your moral center, and it leads your life down the appropriate path that it was meant to take.

For the longest time, I always wanted to be “successful”. To live a life that one day when I would retire, I could look back and think that I lived a life with little regrets.  I linked my success with my position within the corporate ladder, and my goal to be on top.   I knew personally that I loved working with people and helping those in need. I found a company that I could help people and allow me to climb the corporate ladder, I had that moment where I thought that when I was old I would be proud of what I did. That was until I found my purpose.

Finding your purpose is almost like finding your soul mate when you never believed in the idea of soul mates to start with.  It is like having that unexplained happy feeling and knowing that what you are doing just feels…”right”. It completes you as a person. It makes you go from not realizing anything was missing from your life to feeling whole and complete.  Feeling like there is not limits that you cannot overcome.

I have recently found my purpose. It makes me feel whole. It feels like my life is taking the direction that is was meant to take. It gives me the sense that even if I end up broke for the rest of my life, at least I lived a rich life filled with passion.  So many people wake up and go to a 9-5 and make a great wage. They survive and they are content, but I want to fill truly alive. I want to know that everyday I wake up like it is a Saturday morning. Excited about what I will be doing and all the possibilities that the day will bring.

Finding your purpose and passion in life can change life as you know it.  I cannot explain the process of finding out the “why” to your life, but on all accounts you will know when you find your purpose. When you cannot imagine doing anything else with your life. When life goes from black and white to technicolor.  Every life has a purpose but not everyone finds their true calling. If you are someone who finds their purpose in life run towards the light until the moment that you can bathe in the rays.

-Valentina