It’s the Way You Live, Not the Way you Talk.

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Recently at work, we had this exercise called cross training, where our team members stepped into each other’s role to truly appreciate what the other accomplishes on a daily bases.

During a visit at my location, one of my coworkers and I happened to start talking about life, the future, and where we wanted to be within the next few years.  The next morning when she came into the office she proclaimed “I told my husband about this beautiful Christian young lady that works with me, I told him all about you”

Naturally I was a little taken back. Not once within our conversation about life or the future did I mention my religious beliefs. I never mentioned faith within my goals or the reason for my goals.  I told her I was not upset with her comment but simply wondered why she assumed my faith.

She simply stated. “well am I wrong? You will learn in this life time, it is not the way you say but the way you live your life”.

She made perfect sense. There is a striking difference between people who always talk about God and his word and people who carry his word through their actions and live a life that is centered around performing good works with humility that comes from wisdom.  Occasionally when I come across people who preach God’s word within every aspect of life, I feel that I do not always properly represent my faith in God.

Within my life, I have moved a way from established religion because I stumbled across so many people who would preach one message but actions did not align to the word they  taught to the masses. As a teenager this was the first independent thought that really started to separate me from my parents and family. It was the first decision I made as a young adult. To align my actions when possible to my faith and beliefs. Not just live the truth on Sundays and to formulate my own beliefs and not take everything at face value.

As I grew older and slightly wiser, most of my actions and who I am are directly tied to my faith.  As pointed out within the book of James in chapter three, your actions should match your word. If you are wise and understand your faith than do not prove it through your words and praising God in front of others, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. If deep down there is a selfish ambition within your hurt, your actions will directly reflect this even when you tell others about the word or your faith.

Some people have told me that by not speaking on my faith, I am essentially hiding my beliefs. By leaving God out of my blog, I am not truly living up to my true purpose outlined by God.

To this I would like to combat that words and speaking God’s name is only half the battle. You can announce to the world your love for God and the good works you perform on his behalf, you can hide behind a religious mask and cast judgement based on your definition of the word of God, but I have also learned that teachers of the gospel are held to a higher standard. Your actions must always match your words. To me personally it means more that my actions are able to communicate all the words that I do not necessarily speak.  It means more to me that I perform what is true in my heart, that I do not speak ill of others, that I perform works that align with my beliefs and not to fit in with the crowd or my peers.

Preaching God’s word can be powerful but living a life and performing God’s will and purpose is even more powerful and affects a larger demographic. Not everyone is willing to hear the word of God but can connect with someone performing the work of God more easily.

My take away from this conversation with my coworker My actions and constant state of changing my environment and self is a direct reflection of my beliefs without me once uttering the name of my lord and savior.

So my challenge to each and every person is to live a life that aligns with your own purpose and goals.  Allow your actions to speak louder than the words you will ever speak.

Perform good deeds without recognition. Do not point out all the good or bad you do. Remain silent. What you do is important, in most cases more important than what you say. You cannot preach one thing in public and think your private whispers will never surface.

Until next time!

-Bella

 

 

Being Human: Love

So the theme of the week was love. I talked personally about being bad at love and followed it with a post on determining the moment you are finally ready for love. Obviously as I posted on Monday, love is not something I would say I am always wise on, at least within the romantic realm.

Today I am going to apply the concept of love to the series being human. There are so many facets of being human, but one that is a constant for every person on this planet like faith is love.

Examining love outside of relationship goals and stories of my struggles is a bit easier for me. Looking at love from a project stand point and being less critical of my own faults causes a lot of revelation on what it is truly like being human.

Love according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is the following

Love:

a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties

  • maternal love for a child
(2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers

  • After all these years, they are still very much in love.
(3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests

  • love for his old schoolmates
b : an assurance of affection

  • give her my love

As one can see love boils down to affection and attraction towards someone. According to Merriam-Webster and most other sources love is this emotional attachment or desire towards another person.

I do on some level agree with the definition of love provided, but it is truly not all-encompassing. Love is more than an affection or attraction to someone. In the realm of being human most of us have had the feeling of love outside of people. We love the high of a drug, we love our pets, we love the feeling of sleeping in on a Saturday, we love the drink that erases the worries of the week, we love praise from other people, we love attention from our crush, we love the high right after sex, we love the intense rush after facing our fears, we love God and our faith, simply we has humans love so many things.

One can argue that I am over using the word love and taking it out of context,  or it may seem that I am taking small things that we like and saying we love them. In reality, I am not at all. As humans, love is more than an emotion towards a person.

Love is a chemical reaction and more specifically a human chemical reaction.

Although there are some people who say that love is more complex than a chemical reaction, first we need to stop and think about all the times that humans love objects and abstract ideas, and later I will address this argument.

Falling in love and the action of loving  is created when our bodies release certain hormones and chemicals that simply create an overall happy and calm feeling for the person. This overall chemical reaction or high leads to so many of us becoming addicted to love, the concept of love, or things that imitate this reaction and emotions released.

Love makes us feel good. So many people chase the high or feelings of that precious chemical reaction that leaves us feeling great and satisfied.

Some of us go after it by chasing the wrong mate, some of us gain similar feelings through owning animals, some of us become adrenaline junkies and chase adventure, some of us satisfy it through one night stands or masturbation, some of us find it and chase it through drugs and alcohol, and the list is endless. We simply start to fall in love with things that happen to imitate the same feelings and chemical releases.

We become a slave to the feelings and high of the chemical reaction.

Aside from the chemical reaction, on some level I agree love is more than a chemical reaction.  Love can manifest past the chemical state with certain people and specific things. You can have this emotional attachment to something that started with a chemical reaction but simply becomes a constant in life that helps connect us to the world around us. As humans we not only crave that precious chemical reaction we also crave attachment and connection which is the second facet of love. Love for our faith gives us attachment and connection that we crave. It gives us something to hold onto when there is no one. It gives us hope when all we see is despair. It is a connection to something beyond us, it is a connection to something better.

The same connection can be applied to a romantic relationship, drug high, to partying, our friends, our animal companions, adventure, and so many other things we claim to love. It is an attachment or connection that allows us to feel a little less alone within the world and connected to something bigger or attached to something that takes away our reality. It simply helps to fill a void or emptiness.

Being Human is not simple but understanding that we crave love and connection helps us understand one another a little better.

So often we succumb to judging others and ridicule them for the decisions they make in life that helps them feel attached and connected to something. We label them in society as misfits, drug abusers, rebels, zealous bible thumpers, and so many other derogatory things.  Simply we all have a choice but we need to stop labeling and judging others and start understanding what leads them to the choices they make and how can we love and connect with them regardless of their choices.

So often I write about bringing joy into your day and random acts of kindness. I write about it so often because, this is a way to connect and attach yourself to other people. It also helps those people becoming connected to the world around them. Never underestimate human connection and spreading a little piece of love to the world.

Love is a powerful tool and a huge aspect of being a human. It is bigger than faith and purpose because most of the time love and connection leads us to our faith and purpose. It is a language that every single person on this planet can relate to on some level. Love can transform a life in a positive or negative way.

So why not make it a positive experience each day.

Love is our human connection.

-Bella

 

 

Being Human Part 2: Faith

At the start of the year, I promised that I would write once a week….

That was two months ago. In the mean time, I failed to update my blog and this series fell by the way side. I am infamous for starting long haul projects and pausing for another project and somehow forgetting that another project meant so much.

As I struggle to find my place and continue on a million and two other projects, I needed to stop and come back to the project that constantly plagues me. What it is like being human?

As I am continuing within my career and constantly am surrounded by a multitude of life stories from the people I work with, the people I work for, and the people that I am in charge of helping, I cannot help but constantly come back to this project.

As I started the series I wanted to explore different facets of human nature and norms in society that in fact become the large picture of ‘being human’.  One of the largest factors that both fascinates me and is also a subject that is near and dear to my heart is faith.

As humans within the world we all face different paths, decisions, hardships, upbringings, internal struggles, and the list is endless. Although we are all drastically different there is a constant theme that filters through society and that is Faith.

Eighty-four percent of the world population has a faith in some sort of religion.  That equates to over 8 out of 10 people having some sort of belief system defined by a specific religious affiliation.  In reality the eighty-four percent refers to people who identify as having a belief in a religion and does not account for the amount of influence that their religion has upon their life and values but it still gives an idea of Faith and the idea of faith within the world.

A part of being human and the way we live our lives is contingent upon a number of factors but regardless faith is a large factor for the majority of the world.

Faith can be defined in a multitude of ways but one that I personally would like to draw from, not only for this post but one that I utilize anytime I speak of faith is the following:

Faith- strong or unshakable belief in something, esp without proof.

As I explore the people around me, I tend to also explore the aspects of faith in individuals.  I tend to come across two main groups of individuals, people who are deep and steadfast in their religion and people who think religion is the most ludicrous idea. One thing struck me, they all have a faith. Both have this Faith that things in this world have a natural order and that life has it’s own wait of turning things around.

It is a funny thing, Humans are built on this little feeling of Faith and what is yet to come. Regardless if it is a new day or new beginning. Faith is the corner stone of us Humans in one way or another.

Faith in the future. Faith in a new day. Faith in a divine being. Faith in heaven and hell. Faith in a place better than where you are at. Faith in tomorrow. Faith in who you are. Faith in your religion. Faith in your convictions. Faith in the good in the world. Faith in karma. Faith in what is to come. Faith in others. Faith in the unknown. Faith in science. Faith in technology. Faith in finding a cure. Faith in oneself.

Faith is constantly around us, and we each carry a little bit with us each day.

Faith is a subject that not only makes us human but divides us. It is the catalyst that perpetuate wars. A large subject constantly used as a way to separate each of us from one another instead of realizing it is a common ground for all of us.

What is being Human?

Being Human is having Faith. Having a strong and unshakeable belief is something.

But that ‘something’ is often times what separates us.

Please comment and share you thoughts below, I would love to know your opinions. Also there are a ton more subjects a head on being human, if you want to talk or discuss something specifically feel free to email, DM on Instagram, or leave a comment. I will be sure to answer or address it within a post.  Also to get an understanding of the series please see Being Human: Introduction.

Until next time.

-Bella

 

 

 

What Are You?

This poem/ open word piece is dedicated to anyone who has been wrongfully identified as a different race or ethnicity. It is also a testament of how I feel when people judge or make an assumption based on my physical features.

Your almond shaped eyes are so deer like, Are you middle eastern.

Your skin has a golden brown hue, Are you Puerto-rican.

You eye brows are dark, thick, and well defined, are you Italian.

You are hips are larger in proportion to your tiny waste, Are you African American?

Your nose is round and lacks a defined ridge, Are you Mexican?

Your hair creates the most perfect spiral curl, Are you Dominican?

Your lips are so full, are you Latin?

You speak Spanish, You must be a Latina.

You speak English with a lack of ethnic accent, you enunciate your words, you know the difference between to, too, and two. What are you?

I speak multiple languages, fluent in two and can understand four because I have a desire to communicate to every person that crosses my path. I do not expect everyone to know English. I speak Spanish because I yearn to travel the world.

My full lips allow me to speak up when everyone falls silent. It helps me to spread a positive message to the world, and call people to action. My lips are full of action.

My curls decide to twist, wrap, and take a different course everyday. Just like life my curls take their own direction. Sometimes I see them as a mess where others see their beauty. My curls are there to show a perfect representation of my life. Its crazy and a mess but outsiders only see the beauty of it.

My round nose that lacks definition. It does it’s job. It smells the small things like flowers budding, chicken frying, and my dirty dishes. It may not have a defined look, but its purpose is to allow me to appreciate the little things and warn me against hazard.

My large hips protects me when I fall. They allow me to bounce back. The also bare all the negative comments about women and how their bodies should look. They hold me upright when I should be falling apart.

My eyebrows are dark, thick, and well defined. They protect my eyes from dirt and anything that should not be within my precious eyes. They are well defined like my perception on things that do not belong in my life. They are thick because they had to shield my eyes from the world.

My golden hue skin. This was created from love. Two people who did not see color but love. I golden hue is unique like no other because it is never the same hue. It changes with time. The more light in my life the darker I become. The more I see darkness the lighter my skin becomes It reflects my life and mental health. It is an indicator of where I have been through.

Lastly my eyes. The beautiful almond shapes sees the world as it truly is. It sees that brown people are not viewed the same as the white man. My eyes see that the color of my skin is a predetermination of guilt. It sees that when I speak Spanish because of a language barrier others look at me like I do not belong. I see the the media wants to cast people of middle eastern decent as terrorists. I see that not all men are treated equal even if we are created equal. I see the injustice. I see the pain that is caused by injustice. Most importantly I see you judging me for who you think I may be from only my physical features.

What am I?

I am human like you.

What is Success?

Success is a concept that each person within society is constantly trying to achieve. It is the hopes and dreams of every parent for their children to be successful and happy. It is woven into our character, and helps society define our worth, but what is success? More importantly, how do we obtain success?

The most common definition of success as defined by the internet and various dictionaries are the following: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose; the attainment of popularity or prosperity; and a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity.

While I do not disagree that success is strongly linked to obtaining accomplishments. The definition that is provided by so many dictionaries directly link success with monetary accomplishments, name recognition, power, and status within society. Although most of society may consider those definitions the true definition of success, personally these definitions seem incomplete or not truly encompassing success as a whole.

This lead me to research what is success defined by individuals that society consider successful.  How do “successful” people define the concept of success?

Arianna Huffington, the founder of the Huffington Post, stated in her book entitled Thrive that society “tends to think of success along two metrics — money and power — we need to add a third”. She states that the third is more like a multi-branch pillar that contains “well-being, wisdom, wonder, and giving”.  Success includes this last multi-branch pillar because to be successful, one truly needs to thrive and attend to their psychological well being as well as the role society creates for them.

According to the inspiring writer Maya Angelou, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” She explains that success is sought through obtaining happiness within the decisions and paths that you have taken as an individual, and the enjoyment we find in it.

Spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra believes that success is a matter  of constant growth. He states in his book, “success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.”

Unlike the three previous success stories that focus on the psychological well being of an individual, many others focus on the drive or path to success. Winston Churchill stated “success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” It is being relentless in your future and never giving up on your end goal.

Like Winston Churchill, Thomas Edison focused on the work to obtain success rather than what defines a successful person. He’s definition “success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration.” He focused on constantly putting in the effort to reap the benefit.

I saved my personal favorite definition of success for last.  According to legendary basketball coach John Wooden, success comes from competition within ones self rather than competition with others. Wooden stated “success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming”. His idea of success comes from self fulfillment and goals of success that is set by the individual.

The common theme that is universal in each of these successful individuals definition is success comes from self awareness. Regardless if it is self fulfillment, hard work, continual self growth, relentless efforts, self love, or altruistic service to others; the key to success comes from within.  It is one thing to be successful to others, but the bigger obstacle is to truly gain success within the strict defines that we place upon ourselves.

I have not yet became the successful person that I would love to become, but I am proud of my progress and my relentless efforts to gaining success. Remember you are only more successful than the person you were yesterday.

Success lies within the heart, soul, and mind of the beholder.

 

 

 

 

We Are Built to Follow

I recently watched a video that explained and tested the theory of inclusion.  The reality that as a social animal we are built to naturally follow the herd. We are built to want to be included within the group, to not be the outcast.  This is the reason we conform. We conform to feel included. To simply not be excluded.

After watching the video, I could not help but question my own position on life and breaking the norm. I would love to say that I step outside the norm and the roam free from the herd, but am I just following another herd or am I actually independent.

The reality is I am somewhere in between. I did not take a full day to analyze the complexity of the situation, instead I came to a simply assumption.  The important take away from the video came to something quite simple.

Its important to feel included. Inclusion and feeling wanted is within our nature.  At some point our survival depends on others and the social connections we keep. On the same notion, its okay to feel connected to the people, but to be a part of a group and conform without questioning anything that feels wrong is not.  There should never be a time that you do not question something that does not sit well or make sense to who you believe you are.  Being able to stand up and go against the norms when the time is right is what makes us more human and less animal.  Simply everything is a balance, and its finding the balance that is most important part of being human.