It’s the Way You Live, Not the Way you Talk.

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Recently at work, we had this exercise called cross training, where our team members stepped into each other’s role to truly appreciate what the other accomplishes on a daily bases.

During a visit at my location, one of my coworkers and I happened to start talking about life, the future, and where we wanted to be within the next few years.  The next morning when she came into the office she proclaimed “I told my husband about this beautiful Christian young lady that works with me, I told him all about you”

Naturally I was a little taken back. Not once within our conversation about life or the future did I mention my religious beliefs. I never mentioned faith within my goals or the reason for my goals.  I told her I was not upset with her comment but simply wondered why she assumed my faith.

She simply stated. “well am I wrong? You will learn in this life time, it is not the way you say but the way you live your life”.

She made perfect sense. There is a striking difference between people who always talk about God and his word and people who carry his word through their actions and live a life that is centered around performing good works with humility that comes from wisdom.  Occasionally when I come across people who preach God’s word within every aspect of life, I feel that I do not always properly represent my faith in God.

Within my life, I have moved a way from established religion because I stumbled across so many people who would preach one message but actions did not align to the word they  taught to the masses. As a teenager this was the first independent thought that really started to separate me from my parents and family. It was the first decision I made as a young adult. To align my actions when possible to my faith and beliefs. Not just live the truth on Sundays and to formulate my own beliefs and not take everything at face value.

As I grew older and slightly wiser, most of my actions and who I am are directly tied to my faith.  As pointed out within the book of James in chapter three, your actions should match your word. If you are wise and understand your faith than do not prove it through your words and praising God in front of others, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. If deep down there is a selfish ambition within your hurt, your actions will directly reflect this even when you tell others about the word or your faith.

Some people have told me that by not speaking on my faith, I am essentially hiding my beliefs. By leaving God out of my blog, I am not truly living up to my true purpose outlined by God.

To this I would like to combat that words and speaking God’s name is only half the battle. You can announce to the world your love for God and the good works you perform on his behalf, you can hide behind a religious mask and cast judgement based on your definition of the word of God, but I have also learned that teachers of the gospel are held to a higher standard. Your actions must always match your words. To me personally it means more that my actions are able to communicate all the words that I do not necessarily speak.  It means more to me that I perform what is true in my heart, that I do not speak ill of others, that I perform works that align with my beliefs and not to fit in with the crowd or my peers.

Preaching God’s word can be powerful but living a life and performing God’s will and purpose is even more powerful and affects a larger demographic. Not everyone is willing to hear the word of God but can connect with someone performing the work of God more easily.

My take away from this conversation with my coworker My actions and constant state of changing my environment and self is a direct reflection of my beliefs without me once uttering the name of my lord and savior.

So my challenge to each and every person is to live a life that aligns with your own purpose and goals.  Allow your actions to speak louder than the words you will ever speak.

Perform good deeds without recognition. Do not point out all the good or bad you do. Remain silent. What you do is important, in most cases more important than what you say. You cannot preach one thing in public and think your private whispers will never surface.

Until next time!

-Bella

 

 

Being Human Part 2: Faith

At the start of the year, I promised that I would write once a week….

That was two months ago. In the mean time, I failed to update my blog and this series fell by the way side. I am infamous for starting long haul projects and pausing for another project and somehow forgetting that another project meant so much.

As I struggle to find my place and continue on a million and two other projects, I needed to stop and come back to the project that constantly plagues me. What it is like being human?

As I am continuing within my career and constantly am surrounded by a multitude of life stories from the people I work with, the people I work for, and the people that I am in charge of helping, I cannot help but constantly come back to this project.

As I started the series I wanted to explore different facets of human nature and norms in society that in fact become the large picture of ‘being human’.  One of the largest factors that both fascinates me and is also a subject that is near and dear to my heart is faith.

As humans within the world we all face different paths, decisions, hardships, upbringings, internal struggles, and the list is endless. Although we are all drastically different there is a constant theme that filters through society and that is Faith.

Eighty-four percent of the world population has a faith in some sort of religion.  That equates to over 8 out of 10 people having some sort of belief system defined by a specific religious affiliation.  In reality the eighty-four percent refers to people who identify as having a belief in a religion and does not account for the amount of influence that their religion has upon their life and values but it still gives an idea of Faith and the idea of faith within the world.

A part of being human and the way we live our lives is contingent upon a number of factors but regardless faith is a large factor for the majority of the world.

Faith can be defined in a multitude of ways but one that I personally would like to draw from, not only for this post but one that I utilize anytime I speak of faith is the following:

Faith- strong or unshakable belief in something, esp without proof.

As I explore the people around me, I tend to also explore the aspects of faith in individuals.  I tend to come across two main groups of individuals, people who are deep and steadfast in their religion and people who think religion is the most ludicrous idea. One thing struck me, they all have a faith. Both have this Faith that things in this world have a natural order and that life has it’s own wait of turning things around.

It is a funny thing, Humans are built on this little feeling of Faith and what is yet to come. Regardless if it is a new day or new beginning. Faith is the corner stone of us Humans in one way or another.

Faith in the future. Faith in a new day. Faith in a divine being. Faith in heaven and hell. Faith in a place better than where you are at. Faith in tomorrow. Faith in who you are. Faith in your religion. Faith in your convictions. Faith in the good in the world. Faith in karma. Faith in what is to come. Faith in others. Faith in the unknown. Faith in science. Faith in technology. Faith in finding a cure. Faith in oneself.

Faith is constantly around us, and we each carry a little bit with us each day.

Faith is a subject that not only makes us human but divides us. It is the catalyst that perpetuate wars. A large subject constantly used as a way to separate each of us from one another instead of realizing it is a common ground for all of us.

What is being Human?

Being Human is having Faith. Having a strong and unshakeable belief is something.

But that ‘something’ is often times what separates us.

Please comment and share you thoughts below, I would love to know your opinions. Also there are a ton more subjects a head on being human, if you want to talk or discuss something specifically feel free to email, DM on Instagram, or leave a comment. I will be sure to answer or address it within a post.  Also to get an understanding of the series please see Being Human: Introduction.

Until next time.

-Bella

 

 

 

Chasing Butterflies 2.0

Within the past year, I have adopted and coined the phrase ““Chase the butterflies, because that is when you feel truly alive”.   Anyone who actively follows my writing has read multiple pieces about chasing the feeling regardless if it comes to love, changes in life, or something as mundane as sharing your soul through your work.  This has been a constant motto when I decide to actively pursue a new adventure in life.

Every human naturally has the instincts to alert them of danger and unknown territory.  We are naturally programmed to distance ourselves from things that are not natural to our-self. When things are not familiar we begin to feel afraid, our hearts starts to race, we become nervous, we avoid the unfamiliar, and ultimately we stay within our comfort zone.  We are simply creatures of habit.  Our brain is also programmed to tell us “you cannot get this done”, “this is crazy”, and any other phrase that stops us from pursuing something head on.

Due to my natural inclination to remain within comfort, I have made it my personal goal to chase the butterflies, to push past all my fears.  To become truly alive.  Fear is such a huge limitation even when we do not even recognize fear. Personally my anxiety and the expectations that I see within society limits the things that I pursue.  The truth is I limit myself in so many ways in life, as do so many other individuals.  We constantly tell ourselves that we are not good enough or allow society to tell us what is acceptable and what is not.  Chasing the butterflies has become a constant reminder that at the point when the fear of the unknown comes within my life that  I will constantly pursue that unknown.  That moment when you fear jumping the most is when you need to take the leap because growth is not developed within comfort zones.

As I coined “chasing the butterflies”, I have never stopped to think of the symbolism and importance of butterflies within the world view.  Butterflies have a vast amount of meanings depending on the person and the culture.  Within the christian religion butterflies signify resurrection, other people around the world see it as symbols representing endurance, change, hope, and life. There are so many heartfelt stories and meaning to each person that you come across.

Today as I hastily began to get ready for my last Sunday within my current position, I look up on my mirror and see a green butterfly. My first thought was that I was going to remind my niece to stop placing stickers on things throughout my house, and something told me to blow on the sticker, as i began to blow the wings of the butterfly fluttered and than moved to another position.  This was in fact a butterfly in my bathroom at 7 am in the morning was pretty peculiar and it was my favorite color.

I am not a person that believes in coincidence or mistakes.  That butterfly was my symbol.   It was a symbol for my life and the current life circumstances that I am at right now.  I am making a huge career move, and I have been questioning if my abilities will be suited well with the new responsibility. I have been struggling with my confidence to drive steadily into the future without looking back.  I have had butterflies and have felt the fear lingering within the dark corners of my being. Not only with my career but also within many aspects of my personal life.  The color green is a symbol of growth, ambition, harmony, renewal, and energy.  It is time for my new path. I am going to chase my green butterfly and start to feel more alive than ever before.

You will always catch me chasing the butterflies.

 

Running Towards the Light

Mark Twain once said  “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

I never realized that finding your purpose in life could change the way you view the world. I used to believe that having values, a moral center, and a general life direction lead to having a fulfilling life until the day that I found my purpose.  Finding that one thing that drives you is truly life changing. It confirms your values, explains your moral center, and it leads your life down the appropriate path that it was meant to take.

For the longest time, I always wanted to be “successful”. To live a life that one day when I would retire, I could look back and think that I lived a life with little regrets.  I linked my success with my position within the corporate ladder, and my goal to be on top.   I knew personally that I loved working with people and helping those in need. I found a company that I could help people and allow me to climb the corporate ladder, I had that moment where I thought that when I was old I would be proud of what I did. That was until I found my purpose.

Finding your purpose is almost like finding your soul mate when you never believed in the idea of soul mates to start with.  It is like having that unexplained happy feeling and knowing that what you are doing just feels…”right”. It completes you as a person. It makes you go from not realizing anything was missing from your life to feeling whole and complete.  Feeling like there is not limits that you cannot overcome.

I have recently found my purpose. It makes me feel whole. It feels like my life is taking the direction that is was meant to take. It gives me the sense that even if I end up broke for the rest of my life, at least I lived a rich life filled with passion.  So many people wake up and go to a 9-5 and make a great wage. They survive and they are content, but I want to fill truly alive. I want to know that everyday I wake up like it is a Saturday morning. Excited about what I will be doing and all the possibilities that the day will bring.

Finding your purpose and passion in life can change life as you know it.  I cannot explain the process of finding out the “why” to your life, but on all accounts you will know when you find your purpose. When you cannot imagine doing anything else with your life. When life goes from black and white to technicolor.  Every life has a purpose but not everyone finds their true calling. If you are someone who finds their purpose in life run towards the light until the moment that you can bathe in the rays.

-Valentina

Changing the Way We think

I will not deny, I am a sucker for proposal stories and videos. I love to watch giant displays of love that end with the “happily ever after” moment.  I cry and become a stereotypical girl. I cannot help myself.  Something deep inside makes me love the emotion and the whole production of it.

Recently, I stumbled across what seemed to a public proposal video, but ended up being a social experiment where the female would decline the offer in front of a large crowd. At the start of the video the mall goers were excited and pumped for the proposal, and after the reality of her answer, the crowd of people started laughing, live tweeting the occasion, and celebrating the misfortune as if it was a comedy show.

Than out of no where a man that had a language barrier approached the guy proposing. He helped him to his feet, and tried to console him.  What struck me as odd and also as familiar is the way we celebrate others misfortunes.

All too often we seem to compare our lives to others in our immediate circle, age bracket, graduation class, or any other groups we decide to align with. Some of us see others accomplishments and compare our short falls to their fortunate. We never truly celebrate someone else without comparing ourselves to them.

As a culture we seem to celebrate the misfortune of others as well as the positive nature. We make a joke out of hurt feelings. We laugh at others for their short comings. We treat one another so harshly.

Now I am not going to say I am a saint that has never said anything mean or laugh at another’s expense, but everyday I learn a little bit about myself and also learn to embrace and change my flaws.  This video was a wake up call, although I would never have done what those spectators have done, it has helped me to realize how many times I have done or said something that is truly hurtful to another.

The reality is that we are all human, and we will never completely stop the negative behaviors that has been well ingrained within us, but being aware of our actions is the first step towards becoming the person we want to become.  Lets try to stop judging people on their downfalls, and joking about others misfortune.  Let’s give people the respect that we wish people gave us.

In case you would like to view the video for yourself.

Meet my Squishy.

Squishy: A person who carries their emotions on their sleeve and are open to express emotions to others. People who are not afraid to share their love, heart, and soul with others. A person who appears to be more vulnerable but open to the possibly of love and romance.

One of my best friends is of the opposite sex. We both meet in college and learned that personality wise we are pretty similar. Although I have theories on the nature and cause of our dynamic personas, it all boils down to that we just vibe and understand the underlying nature of one another on a weird level because in many ways we are practically the same person. We know our downfalls, and what outside forces change our beings.  We are different enough but face similar obstacles in many realms of life especially in regards to trusting others.

Due to our natural similarity, my dear friend figured out my love life by fixing and accomplishing the impossible within his own.   He is due to be married to the love of his life within the next few weeks, and along the way discovered our weakness.  Our weakness is the squishy.

To allow some history, I am a guarded person. I keep my emotions in place and never allow myself to truly love someone on a romantic level. I am great at making people like and most of the time love me without returning the same mutual feelings.  By nature I do not feel emotions on the same level as “normal” humans. I rarely get “butterflies” in my stomach, I do not see wedding bells and future children, and I never plan on them meeting my family or friends (which are a huge part of my life). That does not mean I do not date because I date and get a decent amount of interest, but usually my friends and family find out by me talking about “this” guy I dated last month.

Recently I had a slight change.  I was introduced to someone who intrigued me initially, annoyed me beyond measure, but ultimately made me have the “normal” emotional feelings that people have. As my friend, mentioned at the beginning,  would say “I met my squishy”, a person that felt natural to be around, but also gave me the butterfly feeling. Someone who I did not shut off within the first three hours of meeting.  That I laughed at the very things that usually would make my skin crawl… you know the horrible pick up lines, being philosophical for no reason at all, talking about how sexy Latinas’ are (because he assumed I was a Latina which drives me crazy), making everything into an analogy that makes absolutely no sense at all, not being direct, and making  unnecessary rash and rude comments as a joke to prevent people from getting mad. In general he is everything that I never go for in a guy, but felt drawn to him for no good reason.  I finally felt vulnerable. Being near him felt natural and familiar. For once I did not give half truths to someone that I hardly knew from a random stranger on the street. A light finally went off.

To put everything into perspective, and to get to the point of this whole thing, I finally felt something.  I felt the mushy, squishy feelings that I have suppressed and never thought possible. I met one of my “squishes” .  Luckily, I have a guide who has went through the same process as me to help figure out my feelings and to make me recognize that he is not the only squishy I will encounter. I will find one that one day, I will ultimately marry (which if anyone who knows me well enough knows is a frightening thought for me). One day I will become truly vulnerable, and this person will awaken every emotion that is buried deep inside.  Until than (which I am glad it is not now because I am truly not ready for it) I will go through life carefree and know that deep down I am actually human and not a machine without feelings. I will constantly be searching for the person that gives me instant butterflies, and will be my forever squishy.

My advice is to open yourself to unexplained feelings.  If you are an over emotional person who falls for each person that crosses your path, know that there will be someone that will one day reciprocate those same feelings.  For those who guard your heart and soul, you will find someone that will destroy every barrier that you are hiding behind.  It is okay to be afraid of the vulnerability, it would more concerning if you are not. Regardless, you will be loved beyond measure and  you will love like you never imagined possible. Romantic love is in the cards for you. Just have faith or run away both are viable options (in my unemotional, unprofessional opinion).

Spoiler alert: This first squishy was not a squishy meant for me. He is meant to rescue someone else (and I am meant to rescue another-at least for the time being), but I have determined that without him disturbing my unemotional state, I would never have gained the knowledge that there is someone out there that will awaken my soul like no other person has.  A special thanks to my best friend, his future wife that some how manages to love him and be great friends with me (two people who are resilient and tough as nails), and of course to my first squishy who has shown me what life as an emotional person feels like,  who unfortunately will somewhat remain in my life due to mutual acquaintances.

Until the next time…. I will continue to chase the butterflies.

-Bella Kat

Each raindrop in a Bucket adds to a full Bucket of Water

Life is unpredictable and most of the time unexpected. There is no rhyme or reason to the events that happen within our lives. Although I am not an expert on any particular subject, events within my life has proven time and again that there’s a purpose for everything and has added to my premature wisdom.

Recently I have experienced a major life event that has helped put my world back into perspective. Each day you can learn from the events and obstacles that is placed within your life.  You can learn from each one or chop it up to horrible luck.  After a near death experience I have learned that what I do indirectly affects many people. The way I drive, the way I complete my job, a compliment I give to a stranger, the person that I gave two dollars to, the meal I bought for the homeless guy on the parkway, the money I donate to charity, being distracted while driving, donating clothes to crisis shelters, offering a listening ear, giving life advice, and any other small seemingly obsolete action.  Our actions and words affect other people on daily basis for the good and the bad.

As humans we need to realize the impact of our actions and think twice before sending out negative vibes and personas to the world.  Never underestimate your impact on your environment and the world itself.

Stay safe and make positive impacts on the world

 

-Bella Kat