When looking at my blog from a far it is really tough to understand the overall theme or natural flow that exists. For many people who read and follow along, it seems a little disconnected. Like random thoughts or ideas placed into one place.
Well unfortunately it is random thoughts and ideas that some how end up typed out and published, but more importantly there is a defined themed throughout. Each piece explores human nature and the norms in society. From stereotyping, to being introverted, suicide, being happy, struggles, and my newest series being human; each post explores aspects of society and human nature.
I typically write from a place of knowledge, wisdom, research, or my soul. One topic that is not often discussed or highly talked about it romantic relationships and love.
It is not that I do not feel like it is not a topic for discussion in regards to norms in society and human nature because it is usually a topic that plagues our society and is in fact a large aspect of being human.
Of course I will explore this topic from a specific angle within the series of Being Human at a later date (If you have not read the first two than 1. go read them because the series is bound to get interesting and the more thoughts and opinions will shape the future of the series and 2. you will not understand the difference of this post to the one in the future in the series of being human), but I often do not speak on the topic because I am one of many who cannot figure out this love thing. (or so society thinks)
It is not that I am an emotionless corporate climber without work life balance, or the opposite a hopeless romantic that jumps in and out of relationships in hopes of finding the love of my life.
I am simply bad at love.
Writing that is both a relief and also really tough for me. I am person that prides myself in becoming successful in anything and everything that I truly put effort into. I believe the more effort and time you spend, you will soon reap the rewards of your effort. Regardless of the time I put into love and finding love or the time I allow escape and let nature takes its course the more I come back empty handed.
We as Americans are engrained in the belief that if you hit 30 and you are still single and on the market that you ultimately are one of two thing. First is that you placed importance on your career over finding love or you are not lovable. We live in a society where relationship goals is a hashtag and oversharing everything in life including your love for another is normal.
As I slowly creep towards the age where I am unable to donate my eggs due to my age, and having more than one pet makes you a _______ mom or lady. I have had to stop and really think about love.
Have I found romantic love. No not within a life long person, but I have found love. Love in my career. Love in who I am. Love in my confidence. Love in laughing. Love within my family. Love in my purpose. Love in my faith. Love in my sweet pups that deal with my craziness. Love in the daily joys.
I am not bad at love, I am bad at the image of romantic love in society. I have so much love to give and have not found the person to share it with. I do not know if I believe in soul mates or a defined love of my life. But I know when it is my time to explore romantic love, it will not be the idealized image that society has engrained in me to have and strive for. It will be this true and honest love that I have been learning exists in my daily routine.