Being Human: Love

So the theme of the week was love. I talked personally about being bad at love and followed it with a post on determining the moment you are finally ready for love. Obviously as I posted on Monday, love is not something I would say I am always wise on, at least within the romantic realm.

Today I am going to apply the concept of love to the series being human. There are so many facets of being human, but one that is a constant for every person on this planet like faith is love.

Examining love outside of relationship goals and stories of my struggles is a bit easier for me. Looking at love from a project stand point and being less critical of my own faults causes a lot of revelation on what it is truly like being human.

Love according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is the following

Love:

a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties

  • maternal love for a child
(2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers

  • After all these years, they are still very much in love.
(3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests

  • love for his old schoolmates
b : an assurance of affection

  • give her my love

As one can see love boils down to affection and attraction towards someone. According to Merriam-Webster and most other sources love is this emotional attachment or desire towards another person.

I do on some level agree with the definition of love provided, but it is truly not all-encompassing. Love is more than an affection or attraction to someone. In the realm of being human most of us have had the feeling of love outside of people. We love the high of a drug, we love our pets, we love the feeling of sleeping in on a Saturday, we love the drink that erases the worries of the week, we love praise from other people, we love attention from our crush, we love the high right after sex, we love the intense rush after facing our fears, we love God and our faith, simply we has humans love so many things.

One can argue that I am over using the word love and taking it out of context,  or it may seem that I am taking small things that we like and saying we love them. In reality, I am not at all. As humans, love is more than an emotion towards a person.

Love is a chemical reaction and more specifically a human chemical reaction.

Although there are some people who say that love is more complex than a chemical reaction, first we need to stop and think about all the times that humans love objects and abstract ideas, and later I will address this argument.

Falling in love and the action of loving  is created when our bodies release certain hormones and chemicals that simply create an overall happy and calm feeling for the person. This overall chemical reaction or high leads to so many of us becoming addicted to love, the concept of love, or things that imitate this reaction and emotions released.

Love makes us feel good. So many people chase the high or feelings of that precious chemical reaction that leaves us feeling great and satisfied.

Some of us go after it by chasing the wrong mate, some of us gain similar feelings through owning animals, some of us become adrenaline junkies and chase adventure, some of us satisfy it through one night stands or masturbation, some of us find it and chase it through drugs and alcohol, and the list is endless. We simply start to fall in love with things that happen to imitate the same feelings and chemical releases.

We become a slave to the feelings and high of the chemical reaction.

Aside from the chemical reaction, on some level I agree love is more than a chemical reaction.  Love can manifest past the chemical state with certain people and specific things. You can have this emotional attachment to something that started with a chemical reaction but simply becomes a constant in life that helps connect us to the world around us. As humans we not only crave that precious chemical reaction we also crave attachment and connection which is the second facet of love. Love for our faith gives us attachment and connection that we crave. It gives us something to hold onto when there is no one. It gives us hope when all we see is despair. It is a connection to something beyond us, it is a connection to something better.

The same connection can be applied to a romantic relationship, drug high, to partying, our friends, our animal companions, adventure, and so many other things we claim to love. It is an attachment or connection that allows us to feel a little less alone within the world and connected to something bigger or attached to something that takes away our reality. It simply helps to fill a void or emptiness.

Being Human is not simple but understanding that we crave love and connection helps us understand one another a little better.

So often we succumb to judging others and ridicule them for the decisions they make in life that helps them feel attached and connected to something. We label them in society as misfits, drug abusers, rebels, zealous bible thumpers, and so many other derogatory things.  Simply we all have a choice but we need to stop labeling and judging others and start understanding what leads them to the choices they make and how can we love and connect with them regardless of their choices.

So often I write about bringing joy into your day and random acts of kindness. I write about it so often because, this is a way to connect and attach yourself to other people. It also helps those people becoming connected to the world around them. Never underestimate human connection and spreading a little piece of love to the world.

Love is a powerful tool and a huge aspect of being a human. It is bigger than faith and purpose because most of the time love and connection leads us to our faith and purpose. It is a language that every single person on this planet can relate to on some level. Love can transform a life in a positive or negative way.

So why not make it a positive experience each day.

Love is our human connection.

-Bella

 

 

Chasing Butterflies 2.0

Within the past year, I have adopted and coined the phrase ““Chase the butterflies, because that is when you feel truly alive”.   Anyone who actively follows my writing has read multiple pieces about chasing the feeling regardless if it comes to love, changes in life, or something as mundane as sharing your soul through your work.  This has been a constant motto when I decide to actively pursue a new adventure in life.

Every human naturally has the instincts to alert them of danger and unknown territory.  We are naturally programmed to distance ourselves from things that are not natural to our-self. When things are not familiar we begin to feel afraid, our hearts starts to race, we become nervous, we avoid the unfamiliar, and ultimately we stay within our comfort zone.  We are simply creatures of habit.  Our brain is also programmed to tell us “you cannot get this done”, “this is crazy”, and any other phrase that stops us from pursuing something head on.

Due to my natural inclination to remain within comfort, I have made it my personal goal to chase the butterflies, to push past all my fears.  To become truly alive.  Fear is such a huge limitation even when we do not even recognize fear. Personally my anxiety and the expectations that I see within society limits the things that I pursue.  The truth is I limit myself in so many ways in life, as do so many other individuals.  We constantly tell ourselves that we are not good enough or allow society to tell us what is acceptable and what is not.  Chasing the butterflies has become a constant reminder that at the point when the fear of the unknown comes within my life that  I will constantly pursue that unknown.  That moment when you fear jumping the most is when you need to take the leap because growth is not developed within comfort zones.

As I coined “chasing the butterflies”, I have never stopped to think of the symbolism and importance of butterflies within the world view.  Butterflies have a vast amount of meanings depending on the person and the culture.  Within the christian religion butterflies signify resurrection, other people around the world see it as symbols representing endurance, change, hope, and life. There are so many heartfelt stories and meaning to each person that you come across.

Today as I hastily began to get ready for my last Sunday within my current position, I look up on my mirror and see a green butterfly. My first thought was that I was going to remind my niece to stop placing stickers on things throughout my house, and something told me to blow on the sticker, as i began to blow the wings of the butterfly fluttered and than moved to another position.  This was in fact a butterfly in my bathroom at 7 am in the morning was pretty peculiar and it was my favorite color.

I am not a person that believes in coincidence or mistakes.  That butterfly was my symbol.   It was a symbol for my life and the current life circumstances that I am at right now.  I am making a huge career move, and I have been questioning if my abilities will be suited well with the new responsibility. I have been struggling with my confidence to drive steadily into the future without looking back.  I have had butterflies and have felt the fear lingering within the dark corners of my being. Not only with my career but also within many aspects of my personal life.  The color green is a symbol of growth, ambition, harmony, renewal, and energy.  It is time for my new path. I am going to chase my green butterfly and start to feel more alive than ever before.

You will always catch me chasing the butterflies.

 

A Trait better than the Rest

There is a character trait that is overlooked but is the key to success. So often people before hiring an individual, dating someone new, or trying to feel someone out for the first time look at so many traits that are important but lack a growth aspect.  Most people look for skills or traits of kindness, intercommunication skills, sociability, and team work ethic. All of these skills are beyond important but there is one that is often overlooked and more valuable than any other skill.

This is being open minded.  Being open minded is the difference between someone who can get anything done, and someone that is willing to get everything done considering every factor.

A broad definition of open mindedness is receptiveness to new ideas. Openmindedness relates to the way in which people approach the views and knowledge of others, and “incorporate the beliefs that others should be free to express their views and that the value of others’ knowledge should be recognized.”

This is not saying that they do not hold their own opinions and have strong opinions on a subject. It means that they can function within a team with people who may not hold the same beliefs. That they are willing to hear a topic.  That although they may never change their mind on a topic, they will at least hear out someone’s opinion to gain new knowledge or appreciation of a new perspective.

People who are open minded are naturally more empathetic, knowledgeable, and well rounded than people who have a fixed belief while disregarding any other belief system.  Personally having an open mind always leads to bigger and better places.  It shows that you are flexible and can tolerate circumstances that may be out of line with what you know.  It makes you a life long student willing to share with others their knowledge and beliefs on a topic.

It is never too late to take off the rose colored lenses and see life through others shades of lenses.  You might just like what is out there.

What Are You?

This poem/ open word piece is dedicated to anyone who has been wrongfully identified as a different race or ethnicity. It is also a testament of how I feel when people judge or make an assumption based on my physical features.

Your almond shaped eyes are so deer like, Are you middle eastern.

Your skin has a golden brown hue, Are you Puerto-rican.

You eye brows are dark, thick, and well defined, are you Italian.

You are hips are larger in proportion to your tiny waste, Are you African American?

Your nose is round and lacks a defined ridge, Are you Mexican?

Your hair creates the most perfect spiral curl, Are you Dominican?

Your lips are so full, are you Latin?

You speak Spanish, You must be a Latina.

You speak English with a lack of ethnic accent, you enunciate your words, you know the difference between to, too, and two. What are you?

I speak multiple languages, fluent in two and can understand four because I have a desire to communicate to every person that crosses my path. I do not expect everyone to know English. I speak Spanish because I yearn to travel the world.

My full lips allow me to speak up when everyone falls silent. It helps me to spread a positive message to the world, and call people to action. My lips are full of action.

My curls decide to twist, wrap, and take a different course everyday. Just like life my curls take their own direction. Sometimes I see them as a mess where others see their beauty. My curls are there to show a perfect representation of my life. Its crazy and a mess but outsiders only see the beauty of it.

My round nose that lacks definition. It does it’s job. It smells the small things like flowers budding, chicken frying, and my dirty dishes. It may not have a defined look, but its purpose is to allow me to appreciate the little things and warn me against hazard.

My large hips protects me when I fall. They allow me to bounce back. The also bare all the negative comments about women and how their bodies should look. They hold me upright when I should be falling apart.

My eyebrows are dark, thick, and well defined. They protect my eyes from dirt and anything that should not be within my precious eyes. They are well defined like my perception on things that do not belong in my life. They are thick because they had to shield my eyes from the world.

My golden hue skin. This was created from love. Two people who did not see color but love. I golden hue is unique like no other because it is never the same hue. It changes with time. The more light in my life the darker I become. The more I see darkness the lighter my skin becomes It reflects my life and mental health. It is an indicator of where I have been through.

Lastly my eyes. The beautiful almond shapes sees the world as it truly is. It sees that brown people are not viewed the same as the white man. My eyes see that the color of my skin is a predetermination of guilt. It sees that when I speak Spanish because of a language barrier others look at me like I do not belong. I see the the media wants to cast people of middle eastern decent as terrorists. I see that not all men are treated equal even if we are created equal. I see the injustice. I see the pain that is caused by injustice. Most importantly I see you judging me for who you think I may be from only my physical features.

What am I?

I am human like you.

Miracle Intervention

I am a big believer that everything happens for  a reason.  There is a purpose behind every mishap in life. Life tends to knock us down for a reason.  Although I believe that nothing happens by coincidence, when something terrible in life happens I always blame it one my terrible luck or the fact that I attract mishaps or problems.

The truth is no one wants to have negative things happen to them, but every good or bad experience in life teaches us all about this crazy thing we call life. It gives us strength that was hidden behind every good experience. It teaches us that bad things happen to you regardless of the type of person you are. To enjoy the little things in life, to enjoy the feeling of the sun on your skin, the wind on a hot day, and the people that make you smile from ear to ear. Misfortune puts life into perspective.

This year has been an even mix of peaks and valleys that have sent my life in every direction. I have made so many strides forward but have also had things tear me down to nothing.  With my last valley, I truly had the roughest time accepting that this was just another lesson. I did not see the light or anything positive coming from it. I honestly felt lost. I felt like my life lacked direction and that everything was spinning out of control.

Now honestly I have not fully recovered. I am still struggling from my last valley.  The light is not shining bright, and I am in search of the next peak and climbing the mountain. I cannot firmly say that this was the greatest life lesson I received but it was a miracle in disguise.

I have been living slightly over my means, and life decided to eliminate that and leaving me no choice but to live within my means. Now my finances and budget is on point allowing me to put a large portion of my checks into my savings again. The second thing that has happened is that I have been trying to reduce the size of my circle. Eliminate the negativity and to start keeping my life as positive as possible.  Part of this issue before my miracle was that I was invested into this small venture with someone that has been a constant source of negativity within my life. They worked harder to bring me down than to help lift me up. It was one of the most toxic relationships within my life.

The greatest things that I have learned is that sometimes when life seems to have turned upside down and you feel like moving on is impossible, maybe this is the miracle intervention that you needed. It is that swift kick in the butt that you might need. It will make a life decision that you would not have necessarily made on your own.  Instead of letting things tear you down, look and find the strength within yourself that you never thought was imaginable. Life will never stop giving you lemons, but there is always tequila for sale. So take a shot, eat the damn lemon, and keep on moving forward.

 

Lots of love.  From someone still climbing out of the valley to reach a new peak.