The “Mean Girl” Stage

For my generation, most individuals have seen the movie “Mean Girls”, for those who have not seen it. The movie follows are girl name Kady that moved from Africa to the US and her life as a normal high school student. It defines the old high school hierarchy where there are the different sub cultures within the school population. The popular girls are known as the “plastics” and they rule the school.

If you have not watched the movies, then most of this post will make little sense, but will still ring true without the references. As I have moved through life and now can consider myself a young adult, I have realized that we all go through our “mean girl” stage or our “plastics stage”. It is the time when you are on top or you are dominant within your environment.

Unfortunately, so many times by nature we are drawn to power and influence. When we ourselves hold this power and influence, it tends to change our personality in the slightest or in some cases drastic ways. People are natural mean girls and others, like myself, can easily be sucked into the persona due to power and influence that we can now exert over others.

Although I did not have my mean girl phase in high school, I did become lucky enough to learn the necessary lessons in college before I started my professional career. In college for a few years I became Kady, a seemingly no one who gained a lot of influence over my peers. As I have slowly transitioned into adulthood it has become more evident that just about everyone goes through this phase at some point or another. It enforces the notion that as humans we are naturally drawn to having power over people and that same power has the potential to change you as a person.

Having a power made me manipulative, a back stabber, exercising my control in ways that were not needed, and so much more.

After watching a seemingly nice girl gain a little bit of power and influence within my work environment is what caused me to step back and evaluate the notion of power and influence and the effects on the human psyche. How an individual can turn into an unrecognizable character. They become the person that they loathe in high school (or in some cases become the person they wanted to be in high school).

As I examine my surroundings and continue to grow and become the woman I want to be in life, I have realized that power and influence are important within our society and as I gain more influence and power within my career being cognizant of who I truly am and the person that I want to become needs to be a priority over the selfish tendencies to exert the power that is held. Sometimes we must look at others and realize the flaws contained to help shape who we truly want to become. If you are someone searching for world domination than by all means disregard my message. Overall remember power and influence are such powerful tools. When you have them, use them wisely.

Do not become Kady and realize your errors after you have destroyed someone else. Be the person you wished those “Plastics” in school were to you. Be the person that you would be proud to be led by.

 

-Bella Kat

To Bell A Cat

There is an old idiom which is “to bell a cat”. As many random idioms go there was a story that came about it the middle ages that went along the lines that there was a group of mice that gathered together to propose a way to diminish victims of the cat that threatened their wellbeing. Than one mouse had the idea of placing a bell around the neck of the cat to warn them when the cat was approaching and to give them a forewarning. All the mice thought this was brilliant idea and would solve their problems. Than a single bright mouse raised the question who was going to place this bell on the cat. Each mouse had an excuse or reason for it not be the selected individual to place the bell.

This story is uses to teach the wisdom of evaluating a plan for both the desired outcome but also to be mindful of the execution of the plan. It provides the understanding that there is a fundamental difference between ideas and the feasibility of this plan and how this affects the overall value of such a plan.

This has raised the idiom “to bell a cat” which means to attempt, or agree to embark on an impossibly difficult task or simply to do the impossible. While searching for a perfect pen name to write my chronicles, there were many options that were catchy and flowed well, but I found little to no meaning. After not defining a pen name for about two months, after some research I came across the story of a warrior was known as the person to bell a cat.

This led me to realize my goals and purpose in life is surrounded around taking on challenges that are seemingly impossible or seem out of reach. This was the start of my pen name Bella Kat. It simply took an idiom that is a corner-stone of a great thought process that I hold near and dear to a pen name that is not only catchy and can have so many meanings to other people but also means a lot to me personally.

In life there will always be challenges, but standing up and taking every challenge head on is what will take you from comfort zones to where you need to be. It is the catalyst for change. So go out there and “bell a cat” whatever that cat may be.

Lots of luck

-Bella Kat

Chasing Butterflies 2.0

Within the past year, I have adopted and coined the phrase ““Chase the butterflies, because that is when you feel truly alive”.   Anyone who actively follows my writing has read multiple pieces about chasing the feeling regardless if it comes to love, changes in life, or something as mundane as sharing your soul through your work.  This has been a constant motto when I decide to actively pursue a new adventure in life.

Every human naturally has the instincts to alert them of danger and unknown territory.  We are naturally programmed to distance ourselves from things that are not natural to our-self. When things are not familiar we begin to feel afraid, our hearts starts to race, we become nervous, we avoid the unfamiliar, and ultimately we stay within our comfort zone.  We are simply creatures of habit.  Our brain is also programmed to tell us “you cannot get this done”, “this is crazy”, and any other phrase that stops us from pursuing something head on.

Due to my natural inclination to remain within comfort, I have made it my personal goal to chase the butterflies, to push past all my fears.  To become truly alive.  Fear is such a huge limitation even when we do not even recognize fear. Personally my anxiety and the expectations that I see within society limits the things that I pursue.  The truth is I limit myself in so many ways in life, as do so many other individuals.  We constantly tell ourselves that we are not good enough or allow society to tell us what is acceptable and what is not.  Chasing the butterflies has become a constant reminder that at the point when the fear of the unknown comes within my life that  I will constantly pursue that unknown.  That moment when you fear jumping the most is when you need to take the leap because growth is not developed within comfort zones.

As I coined “chasing the butterflies”, I have never stopped to think of the symbolism and importance of butterflies within the world view.  Butterflies have a vast amount of meanings depending on the person and the culture.  Within the christian religion butterflies signify resurrection, other people around the world see it as symbols representing endurance, change, hope, and life. There are so many heartfelt stories and meaning to each person that you come across.

Today as I hastily began to get ready for my last Sunday within my current position, I look up on my mirror and see a green butterfly. My first thought was that I was going to remind my niece to stop placing stickers on things throughout my house, and something told me to blow on the sticker, as i began to blow the wings of the butterfly fluttered and than moved to another position.  This was in fact a butterfly in my bathroom at 7 am in the morning was pretty peculiar and it was my favorite color.

I am not a person that believes in coincidence or mistakes.  That butterfly was my symbol.   It was a symbol for my life and the current life circumstances that I am at right now.  I am making a huge career move, and I have been questioning if my abilities will be suited well with the new responsibility. I have been struggling with my confidence to drive steadily into the future without looking back.  I have had butterflies and have felt the fear lingering within the dark corners of my being. Not only with my career but also within many aspects of my personal life.  The color green is a symbol of growth, ambition, harmony, renewal, and energy.  It is time for my new path. I am going to chase my green butterfly and start to feel more alive than ever before.

You will always catch me chasing the butterflies.

 

A Trait better than the Rest

There is a character trait that is overlooked but is the key to success. So often people before hiring an individual, dating someone new, or trying to feel someone out for the first time look at so many traits that are important but lack a growth aspect.  Most people look for skills or traits of kindness, intercommunication skills, sociability, and team work ethic. All of these skills are beyond important but there is one that is often overlooked and more valuable than any other skill.

This is being open minded.  Being open minded is the difference between someone who can get anything done, and someone that is willing to get everything done considering every factor.

A broad definition of open mindedness is receptiveness to new ideas. Openmindedness relates to the way in which people approach the views and knowledge of others, and “incorporate the beliefs that others should be free to express their views and that the value of others’ knowledge should be recognized.”

This is not saying that they do not hold their own opinions and have strong opinions on a subject. It means that they can function within a team with people who may not hold the same beliefs. That they are willing to hear a topic.  That although they may never change their mind on a topic, they will at least hear out someone’s opinion to gain new knowledge or appreciation of a new perspective.

People who are open minded are naturally more empathetic, knowledgeable, and well rounded than people who have a fixed belief while disregarding any other belief system.  Personally having an open mind always leads to bigger and better places.  It shows that you are flexible and can tolerate circumstances that may be out of line with what you know.  It makes you a life long student willing to share with others their knowledge and beliefs on a topic.

It is never too late to take off the rose colored lenses and see life through others shades of lenses.  You might just like what is out there.

Why I Write…

When coming across my blog, most people can see such a large variety within my topics. My topics range and does not seem like they are one cohesive unit.  All of my writing centers around real life. It examines the daily challenges of a person regardless who you are. It pinpoints the injustices and struggles within the society we live in.  I am here to remind everyone life is not what is on social media. It is not this defined happy place that we all want to paint for others to see.

Life is an adventure with a ton of twists and turns along the way.  I am about sharing the negatives not just the perfected edited glossy prints. This is a space that is open to all opinions that is backed by research and proof. A place to share you fears of not feeling like you are enough.  To realize that your future is shaped by what you do not the images that society wants you to be.

This is a reminder and a compilation of all the crazy thoughts that we all have but it may not always be expressed.

Please share your opinions and let me know your thoughts….

 

 

 

Life Sucks

Everyday I come across articles that talk about how we should live the best life and a ton of positive messages.  The truth is I am a positive walking billboard.  I always see light in the darkest of places, and find a lesson in every circumstance.  I am a true optimist.  I share all those positive messages on my social media and I am constantly trying to up lift the people within my inner circle.

Although I am way too positive, the truth is life sucks, especially the day to day mundane bull crap.   My life is hard and I am constantly battling against dark forces.  I work more than I sleep. I never have time just to breath.  Life is truly hard.

There it is, the truth have been told. Just being able to share the fact that life sucks is beyond liberating.

With that being said, lately I have been thinking a lot about karma and others motives.  I have not firmly determined if I believe in the concept of Karma.  Truth be told I have seen some pretty terrible things happen to the best of people and some of the greatest things happen to people who obtain riches through terrible means.

I do not know why bad things happen to good people and the reverse, but what i do know, life is less about what happens to us and more about how we handle everything that happens to us.

I am someone who legitimately has the worse luck, if there is something bad to happen it will happen to me.  The funny thing is I chalk each experience up to a funny story or as a way to understand the world around me.  Truth is life sucks, but you can treat each horrible experience as a reason to complain or take life by the horns and keep it moving.

 

 

What Are You?

This poem/ open word piece is dedicated to anyone who has been wrongfully identified as a different race or ethnicity. It is also a testament of how I feel when people judge or make an assumption based on my physical features.

Your almond shaped eyes are so deer like, Are you middle eastern.

Your skin has a golden brown hue, Are you Puerto-rican.

You eye brows are dark, thick, and well defined, are you Italian.

You are hips are larger in proportion to your tiny waste, Are you African American?

Your nose is round and lacks a defined ridge, Are you Mexican?

Your hair creates the most perfect spiral curl, Are you Dominican?

Your lips are so full, are you Latin?

You speak Spanish, You must be a Latina.

You speak English with a lack of ethnic accent, you enunciate your words, you know the difference between to, too, and two. What are you?

I speak multiple languages, fluent in two and can understand four because I have a desire to communicate to every person that crosses my path. I do not expect everyone to know English. I speak Spanish because I yearn to travel the world.

My full lips allow me to speak up when everyone falls silent. It helps me to spread a positive message to the world, and call people to action. My lips are full of action.

My curls decide to twist, wrap, and take a different course everyday. Just like life my curls take their own direction. Sometimes I see them as a mess where others see their beauty. My curls are there to show a perfect representation of my life. Its crazy and a mess but outsiders only see the beauty of it.

My round nose that lacks definition. It does it’s job. It smells the small things like flowers budding, chicken frying, and my dirty dishes. It may not have a defined look, but its purpose is to allow me to appreciate the little things and warn me against hazard.

My large hips protects me when I fall. They allow me to bounce back. The also bare all the negative comments about women and how their bodies should look. They hold me upright when I should be falling apart.

My eyebrows are dark, thick, and well defined. They protect my eyes from dirt and anything that should not be within my precious eyes. They are well defined like my perception on things that do not belong in my life. They are thick because they had to shield my eyes from the world.

My golden hue skin. This was created from love. Two people who did not see color but love. I golden hue is unique like no other because it is never the same hue. It changes with time. The more light in my life the darker I become. The more I see darkness the lighter my skin becomes It reflects my life and mental health. It is an indicator of where I have been through.

Lastly my eyes. The beautiful almond shapes sees the world as it truly is. It sees that brown people are not viewed the same as the white man. My eyes see that the color of my skin is a predetermination of guilt. It sees that when I speak Spanish because of a language barrier others look at me like I do not belong. I see the the media wants to cast people of middle eastern decent as terrorists. I see that not all men are treated equal even if we are created equal. I see the injustice. I see the pain that is caused by injustice. Most importantly I see you judging me for who you think I may be from only my physical features.

What am I?

I am human like you.